I Am Stuck..No, You Are Changing!

“My heart sinks into a state of unknowing. Everything that I have ever done seems to unravel into a directionless pile of wonderment and questioning… “I have no idea where I am to go or what I am to do or see!” I ask for signs yet receive very little. I go through my days heavy and lethargic, so afraid of being trapped in this ordinary nothing. My job has become a stale routine surrounded by old memories that once were magical, but are now outdated and worn. I wake up with the immediate feelings that being lost bring: loneliness, uncertainty and anxiety. My mind lingers in lethargy. People speak and I half listen. Their voices are cold and saturated with false hope…”Life will get better!”… I want to give up! I wish I could become a bird and soar somewhere, anywhere. Activities that once filled me with joy now leave me empty. Day by day I die another death. Something is leaving without clear acknowledgment that something else will enter in. I try to meditate and even cry to the heavens for spiritual guidance, but I am rocking in my chair by the window, looking out onto the world in which I am no part of. I wish I can burn away this sensation like a Californian wild fire! The harsh flames reconfigure the land to make way for new growth as it pushes its way though the ashy soil. Am I growing? The truth is I hope I am, yet not sure into what. Where am I? Am I stuck? Am I wasting my time here?”



    Many of us feel this way at times. You think you are going one way then BAM, the course changes and you begin to empty out into a pool of what you think is stagnation. What is becomes what you no longer wish and you lack a clear, conscious thought about what will be or how it will become. You claim that when this happens you are “lost” or “stuck”. The truth is, you are not stuck at all! You are transitioning! Like the lotus flower yet to bloom....consciously it has no idea if or when it will be, but subconsciously it knows and does and is in sync with the timing of its life.

When you feel the most uncertain about where you are in life, I can almost guarantee you a major change is brewing. Before you can change you must go through what I call the “grey area”…the events or feelings that cause you to seek change. The closing of doors, switching of interests, tiresome routines and the hope of more with uncertainty o how or what, are common symptoms of this life phase. When you are in the grey, I urge you to live in it. Now is not a time to force decisions or place unsupported action steps upon yourself. Let it be a time to decide not to decide until the hand of time reveals clarity. All grey areas lead to a clarifying moment where an idea, opportunity or situation appears which will spark the beginnings of a recognizable road that is to be traveled. Only then should you take action and walk forward.
It has been a major lesson for me to learn to do nothing in this grey space. I would often fight against the tide and push myself towards something, anything at all, so that I would avoid these feelings of confusion. I have learned that the answers you seek will come in perfect timing and under grace and never before. A snake doesn’t know it will shed its skin until it begins to do so. What a painful process for him, yet when through the snake is free move again, perhaps faster and freer than it did prior! The same goes for us! 



  A divine plan is in the works for you my dear friend. You might be unaware if it today, but tomorrow can bring new adventures and insights that will change the trajectory of your life. Never fear, change is hard to miss, yet understand that sometimes change will appear as a negative; a loss or perhaps a physical ailment even. You see, in the eyes of the universe all for you! Everything happens for your greatest and highest good even if you can’t see it. Don’t fight the change; embrace and accept it! Sometimes the incline of change will surface with the clarity that what you are doing is not where you are to stay and nothing else. If this is the case then search your soul! Meditate. Turn to your spiritual tools and look inside. The answers are always there. Like Dorothy, you have had the power to click your heals all along, yet perhaps you are not ready to use it because you need to journey further into darkness; battle a witch, make lasting connections, find the wizard and then head back home. Yet home, wherever that will be, will have transformed because of what the journey has revealed to you. It may seem like the world is closing in on you, but perhaps your life is about to blast open! The way to be certain is to experience it and ask for peace of mind, heart and soul as it figures itself out! Remember, everything has worked out before and it will again...trust!
James Bene

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