Spiritual Gain Through Physical Pain

  

 When we think of the great teachers we've had in our lives, how often do we think of the physical pain, illnesses, or chronic conditions that we've experienced? Fact is, if we allow them to be, these burdens can be the best teachers of all.

I was born with what in 1985 was called Congenital Hip Disorder (now Hip Dysplasia.) Essentially, my hip wasn't dislocated when I came out of the womb, but it was inevitable that it would become so. Usually caught at birth, mine was not noticed until I began to crawl. My left hip socket wasn't big enough for my femur to fit into. By the time I was eight I had spent two summers in body casts. For several years I was fine - I was active and an athlete. In high school and college I experienced some discomfort but by the time my early thirties came around I had to admit that I could no longer ignore the almost constant pain I was in. I felt so much older than my young years. I spent long hours on my feet as a bartender, spent hundreds of dollars on work shoes, and would spend my days off in the bathtub. I had no energy left to pursue my goals. 

I was angry that my body required so much attention, and I resisted giving it what it needed. I would have understood if I had been in an accident; my understanding of spirituality was that our subconscious creates the situations that we need to learn from. But what about a birth abnormality? Where was the affirmation for that? 

Eventually I was led to type into Google 'birth abnormalities spiritual causes.' I finally gained the insights I needed to find peace. Probably the cause of past life karma, it was up to me how to handle it in this life. Issues in the hip girdle are often a way of the body telling us to SLOW DOWN, and that completely resonated with me. I always want to go fast, get there, skip the steps....but that's not how the journey works, is it? 

Despite the fear of financial lack, I had to quit my bartending job. I had to put my body first. I couldn't go to the gym anymore, I couldn't even do Vinyasa yoga anymore, and I certainly couldn't wear the high heels that I adored. What I did find I could do was Yin Yoga, pilates, and gentle morning walks with my husband. I had to slow down, tune in, and listen to what my body was saying. In that, I have found peace.

The other great physical teacher I've had was twelve years of sever cystic acne. It began as normal hormonal acne in high school, got a little worse, got a little better, then by my senior year in college it exploded. Cysts along my jaw and cheeks that never went away. I tried various antibiotics and topical gels – they would work for a brief time only. I was terrified at the thought of Accutane and refused to try it. I went to see an acupuncturist, tried flower essences, became vegan, used Spiritual Response Therapy, traditional talk therapy, but nothing helped. So I suffered. I'm so grateful to see that the dialogue is much more open about acne now. During my experience I didn't want to talk about it with my close friends and family because to do so would acknowledge that it was as bad as I thought. I had to go through my days pretending that it wasn't. Every day I would wake up and look in the mirror, praying for an overnight miracle. Every day I would allow my skin to sink me deeper into a state of depression, shame, and loneliness. 

With the passing of Obamacare I got health insurance. I went to the doctor and had blood drawn for tests. The results were shocking. My liver was underperforming, my thyroid was over overperforming, my colon was blocked, and my estrogen levels were through the roof. 

I was twenty seven years old. 

Several weeks of a juice/soup diet combined with natural herbs to balance my hormones, and I began to see a difference. That gave me hope, which mitigated the stress of ever finding a cure. It crept up on me, but the following year I finally went days without seeing a new blemish. It was like I could breath for the first time.

Today in my work as a healer, I can look back and see that I could have started with my chakras. My throat chakra was unbalanced because I wasn't expressing myself. I had thought that performing was the only way for me, but I learned that writing is just as healing. Also, as my symptoms subsided, I began to feel more comfortable talking about my experiences, which opened up that energy space. My colon was blocked indicating my sacral chakra was blocked as well. I wasn't exploring my creativity. I was working in bars and feeling depressed that life hadn't worked out the way I had planned. The issues with my liver were the result of an unactivated solar plexus – the center of personal power. I had  mistakenly equated success in my career with happiness and self-esteem. I didn't realize I should have started with feeling confident first and that the rest would follow. I learned that the skin is the largest organ in the body, and everything affects it. Now I use only natural products on my skin, and I know that what I eat is just as important as what I put on my face.

The pain in my hip and my sensitive skin are things that need to be constantly managed. I can never ignore them or they will flair up. I embrace them more and more each day. They let me know when I am not in alignment with my High Self. I'm grateful I have such powerful visual reminders that I need to be kind and compassionate to myself. 

“When suffering comes, we yearn for some sign from God, forgetting we have just had one.” (Mignon McLaughlin)

I can say with passion and authentic truth that my physical pain has provided me with the gift of invaluable spiritual gain. 

-Faith Streng

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