My Spiritual Journey Started In A Strip Club!

My Spiritual Journey Started in a Strip Club

I've recently been introduced to the beautiful unalome symbol – the Buddhist design that begins with a spiral and then gently unfurls into a straight line. It represents the twists and turns we experience in life that bring us eventually to peace. 

Like most of us, twists and turns are certainly something I've had my share of! At 27 I was working at a major market research company in the entertainment industry as a part-time receptionist. Unexpectedly I was asked to step into the role of executive assistant to the CEO of the company. I had never harbored aspirations to be an assistant. I went to a boarding school to study theater for my high school years followed by a BFA program to study acting. I didn't even know how to send an Outlook calendar invite! But they were desperate (because the other assistant had quit suddenly), I could type nimbly, and so I was promoted.

I thought this was the opportunity I had been waiting for. Maybe I was going to become a producer someday! I was nervous and excited at the potential of a new life unfolding for me. 

That feeling lasted about four weeks before everything went downhill. 

There is an unfortunate and prevalent attitude among entertainment executives that because they were once abused by their bosses they must inflict the same abuse onto their assistants. It is the remains of an old thought system that overworking and underpaying your employees is the best way to teach.  As a sensitive indigo child, I was not created to thrive in that environment. I wanted so badly to make it a year in my new position, but after eight months of working ten hour days for less than minimum wage I melted down. I called in sick one day. And then the next day. And then the next day. I decided that there was no way I could return. I quit. 

I reached out to everyone I knew in search of a job. I had experienced dark times before this, but this was the darkest. I felt like a failure. I felt I had failed trying to be an actor, and now I had failed at another opportunity. I had failed at managing my finances and now I was broke and severely in debt. I had also been struggling with cystic acne for several years, and because of my knowledge of the mind-body connection, I felt I had failed at curing myself. 

A month after I quit I received a text message from a friend: Hey girl. You still looking for a job? We just had a bartender quit. It was from my friend Anna. She was a bartender at a topless club that had been around for decades. 

I was hired on the spot. The opportunity was surreal. Me? Working a STRIP CLUB? The girl from rural Michigan who had never set foot in a strip club before?

….but the dark little topless bar turned out to be exactly the place I needed to be. It wasn't as seedy as I expected it to be – in fact my manager ran a tight ship. No hanky panky allowed. There were no private rooms, and most of the customers I interacted with were looking for a conversation more than a lap dance. It was a low stress job (obviously), and shifts were short. It allowed me to time I needed to heal. Finally able to get to a doctor, I found out the very serious toll the stress from my previous job had taken on my body -  my thyroid, colon, hormones, and liver were all compromised. Born with a birth abnormality in my left hip, sitting in front of a computer all day long had been excruciating. Now I had the time I needed to rest, stretch, and regather my energies. 

I was fascinated by the women I saw on stage. Though they were playing a role, I needed to see women embrace their sexuality. I realized that I had that feminine energy within me too, and that I had been ignoring it. Our sexuality, though different for everyone, is a part of the human experience. Expressing that, however we are comfortable, can be joyful. Sexuality can be spiritual. Denying that part of ourselves, can be detrimental to our souls. 

As a result of making an hourly wage and not needing to rely soley on tips like the independently contracted dancers, I had more freedom to accept or not accept comments I found offensive. The day a customer said, with respect, “You don't take any shit from anyone, do you?” I realized it was true. I had learned in the strip club to stand up for myself. To set boundaries. Ironically, when I would call out a patron for a lewd remark, he would tip more generously. On a macro level, the universe was supporting me for setting boundaries. 

I met the most interesting people that I never would have interacted with anywhere else. The strip club was a culture shock to me and completely different than anything I had seen portrayed in the media. I began to love the weirdness of my new job, and I was inspired to write about it all. I started a blog, which turned into a book, which turned into a pilot. I discovered that I was a writer. I discovered that more than being a performer, I was an artist, and an artist needs to create however they can. 

I came out of my time in the strip club a stronger, more balanced, and empathetic person. I needed to be at the bottom and take a sharp right turn out of my comfort zone in order to jump start my spiritual growth. I am forever grateful for the people I met, the stories I heard, the experiences I had, and most of all, for the inspiration I found. 

The unalome symbol resonates deeply with me. Life thows unexpected curve balls and no one is spared. We cannot change the events, but we can change our reaction to them. Each new experience is an opportunity to grow, to evolve. If we keep that in our awareness, then peace, eventually, will find be revealed. 

Faith is a Reiki Master and spiritual healer living in Los Angeles. Read more strip club stories in her book 'It's Like Karaoke and Other Titty Bar Tales' – Available on Amazon

www.benemudra.com